Finger Painting, Anyone?

I'm sure when you envision finger painting, you picture your little one playfully painting a sheet of paper or canvas with bright, vivid colors all over his fingers.  Sounds idyllic, right?  Well, my first experience with finger painting was Friday and my idea of finger painting will never, ever be the same.  So, let's get this story started from the beginning...

It was Friday after lunch time and I was letting my 2-year old son play a little more before his nap time.  My youngest was in the pack-n-play awaiting his lunch.  My plan was to let my toddler play a little longer, put him down for a nap and then get youngest fed.  I was in the living room folding laundry and my toddler had headed to his room to play.  About five minutes passed without anything amiss.  Then, it hit me.  What hit me, you may ask.  Well, a horrible stench drifted into the living room.  I immediately dropped what I was doing, headed to my toddler's room and stood at the door way in utter, complete disbelief.  Poop, yes poop, was "painted" everywhere.  Oh.  My.  Gosh.  What horror had I encountered?  I rubbed my eyes.  Surely, this must be a nightmare.  I mean, why would my precious toddler "paint" his room with the contents of his dirty diaper?  I was in shock.  What ever do I do?  My toddler's hands and feet were covered in a poop, so I picked him up and carried him into the bath room.  We have a bath seat for my youngest, but my toddler can still fit in it.  I placed my little guy in the bath seat in the empty tub and gave him a toy or two to play with.  I headed back into his bedroom to access the damage.  At the scene of the crime, I tried to make heads and tails as to what had gone down.  Apparently, my toddler did the "Boot Scootin' Boogie" across the length of the crib.  The crib sheet was coated.  When my little guy realized he wasn't totally cleaned off, he used his hands to clean his bottom and legs.  Of course, then his little hands were covered in the dirty, yucky mess.  So, in an attempt to clean his hands, he "painted" the head board of the beautiful cherry wood crib.  I guess he was satisfied with the clean-up efforts and decided to get out of the crib.  By now, his feet were covered and so as he climbed out the crib, the crib railing and slats also become encrusted with the dirty mess.  I then followed the trail of brown foot prints on the carpet which led to the window sill.  Apparently, my toddler tried scraping the gunk off of his hands using the window sill as there was evidence all over.  At some point, my toddler played with some of his toys assaulting them with the brown, yucky, dirty gunk. 

While my toddler patiently awaited in the empty bath tub, I quickly began to clean his room.  I started with the crib.  The crib sheet couldn't be saved and fortunately was the only fatality of this dirty crime.  The other victims (plush toys, carpet, walls and everything else in between) cleaned-up well and are now back to their pre-poop assault form.  After the room clean-up, I proceeded to pre-clean my little one and then finally gave him a good scrub down in a warm, soapy bath.

Just curious, but how come nobody warned me about the extreme messes I would encounter as a momma? Having a background in Real Estate, I never remember signing a disclaimer or disclosure statement!  If I signed something in the hospital, it must have been when I was still in an exhausted, drugged-up state after my emergency c-section.  Wow.  Parenthood is definitely filled with the unexpected and I never imagined myself scrubbing poop stained walls and carpets.

So, what kind of messes have you encountered with your little ones?  I'm usually not super competitive, but I dare you to beat my "finger painting" nightmare.  Wait, I double dog dare you!  But if you have some messy memoirs to share, please do so!  We mommas can always use a good laugh!

Happy Blogging!
Toni The Chic Momma

(Finger painting pics from http://www.sarahjanestudios.com and http://kiddley.com)